Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
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I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.