Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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