I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
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