fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
