I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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