grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
