What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
