I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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