He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
