I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
