the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
