Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
