You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize