I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
