The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
