Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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