on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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