maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Alive.
So much puke
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
