Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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