Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
