READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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