I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
