OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
