So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
