Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
