Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
