Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
