I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
