I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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