Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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