Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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