so explain again why im purple
no
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
