she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
