Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm both gender and math confused
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
