One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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