Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
