That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
