omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
