I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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