We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
