You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
