I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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