remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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