he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
