I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
