She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize