I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
