She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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