I'm drive I can fine osifer
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
