i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
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I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
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Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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