This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
