How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
