we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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