Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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