So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
