And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
