Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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